silence and solitude.

9/11/06. 3B party was great! no doubt bout it. hehee. but sorry guys that err. yeah. my whole body was aching during the party. =( lol. blame it on my form 5 peeps that splashed water at me and made me run in rain after school! haha.

silence and solitude. i love silence. silence gives me time to reflect on things that happened, memories, or being plain empty in my mind for a moment. solitude, also meaning seclusion or isolation, on the other hand, gives me a peace of mind when i need it admist this fast pace world, chaos, and yada yada yada. its my choice to be in solitude. but as i move on in life, it is no longer my choice to be in solitude. the world around me forces me to be in solitude most of the time. even when at times i dont want to be. and that is certainly not nice. cause its like, you need to be with people. but you can't. get what i mean? yeah. to put it in one word, its loneliness. can be said being left out too. guess i'm not the person who have the skills to socialize much. more like annoying people. huh? =/ oh wells. i'm trying my best anyway to restrain myself from talking too much nonsense and knowing when to talk, what to say, and so on. its hard. but i'm starting to learn. for better or for worse? i dont know. but i pray its for the better. hehee. :)


and sorry people when i've been really annoying and irritating and all sorts. you know what i mean. my screaming. bla bla bla. and yeah. you know. all my irritating-ness. hahaa. i know it myself when i'm irritating and when i go overboard. ehehe. just wanna say sorry.. sorry for not being that charismatic or good joker or crap talker. haha. sorry.. really sorry..


and sorry in advance too. cause i might not be able to talk that much crap anymore. haha. part of the reason is that i'm trying to control myself. another part of the reason its because, i've lost the talent to talk crap d. lol. and now, all i can do is scream. which, you guys wouldn't like too. haha. and and. another part of the reason is because i've been really depressed since the last day of school. maybe when i get to see you guys again i'll be able to talk more and be happier. for now, it is my time to mourn cause its the end of form 3 and i miss you all so much to the point i get depressed. which is now, what i am doing through. ahaha. so.. yeah. hehe. but i want you guys to know that i really love you guys. i really do. i REALLY REALLY do. hehee.

all i know now is, i'm still really depressed thats why can't really talk much on msn or so on. haha. weird right? yeah. lol. hehe. I LOVE FORM 3! LOL. hehee.

missyouguys! <3>